Questions that I have right now in life

I am not asking for a pity party when I write blogs like this. Its just my feelings and I hope that people understand that that read this because that is not what its intended for. The blog is for your thoughsts and feelings right? This is such a good place for me to vent and get feedback because its all positive and I am not judged on what I write.

I know that everyone is probably sick of me venting and going on and on about my marriage and how it has fallen apart and how things have went so down hill. I am over the part of us splitting up and I have tried moving on with my life but that is the hard part. I am trying to be around as many people that are friends of mine and that care about me here in Arizona but the question that I have is why does TJ get to look like the good one and that I am always the one that did the things wrong in our marriage? I know that he has a serious problem with alcohol that I could not deal with anymore. It was not just a drink every once in a while. It was a lot of alcohol all the time and I could not deal with it anymore. He was very mean because if he did not get his way he would get very angry and tell me that he was going to do things to himself. Trying to put me on a guilt trip and that was wrong of him at least I think that it was.

There was one specific night that he kept me up all night long because we had gotten into a fight because he had been drinking and consumed a lot of alcohol that he was going to kill himself and so needless to say I stayed up all night long with hism so he did not do that but now that I look back at it I should have just went to bed because TJ was never going to do something like that it was just a threat that he was going to do it. Things of this nature were a common occurance around our house especially if I didnt give TJ his way when he wanted more alcohol.

I have heard people say why do bad things happen to good people and I am starting to wonder that myself because I tried my hardest and give my marriage all that I had and look what happened. I am not saying that I was perfect because there is no one that is perfect. I just have that question of why people that give everything to someone and then they throw it away is what I am questioning.