Moving

So I dont know how many of you that actually read my blog. I have been in Safford two years and I have been through some ups and downs while I was down there and really dont want to go into deatail because that is what seems to always consume my blogs. This is a happy blog though. I have decided to move a little closer to my family and friends in the north. Believe me it was hard to leave Safford because everyone that I met while I was there was very good to me. It was very hard to leave and believe me I thought long and hard about the decision before I carried out the plan. I came to the decision that there was nothing left for me so I packed my stuff in my car and left, I am not having to find a job and that is going to be a challenge but I have faith that some way the lord will provide and I will find a job.

New Business

I know there are people out there that dont believe in network marketing but I have a hunch that there are some people out there that hate their jobs and would like to be able to work for themselves. Well now here is your chance to have the oppertunity to be able to become the boss of your own business. Please watch the video twice before you make your decision. Here is the link to the website that I have joined and if you have any questions you can either email me or call me. The link is http://www.lifewithapayplan.com

My other email address is michellejeancollins2000@yahoo.com
My cell phone number is 1-928-322-3921

Please leave me comments and let me know what everyone thinks.

Sundays Are Always Peaceful

Since I have started going to the church of Christ here in Safford it seems like things have been getting easier day by day and they keep getting better everytime I have turned around something new is changing in my life and instead for the bad this time it is for the good. It seems like every Sunday I feel so refreshed and ready to deal with the upcoming week. I know that I have been truly blessed to meet the church family that I have here in Safford and I really want them to know that I love them and am thankful for them everyday.

Does anyone else feel the same way when they get home from Church on Sunday? Or is it just me. I know that there are many faiths out there and just because everyone is not the same faith that does not mean they are bad. We are free Americans and can choose what we belief in and can practice in which faith we choose and I am truly thankful for that.

When I got baptized I really didnt think things were going to be the way that they have been and it is so nice to feel the way that I feel now about the lord and truly how much he does do for us not just on Sunday and in our everyday life. The bible has truly opened my eyes especially with the split up of my husband and I and how much he does for me and it is great because I knopw that if I need someone to talk to and their is no one around that I can talk to the lord and he will eventually answer the questions that I have. Even though they are not always the right answers that I may want but I always know that I am going to eventually get an answer and I have to be accepting of the answer no matter what it is and how long it takes to get the answer. I have to be patient and that is not always easy for me to do.

A Great Movie

A Great Movie Called Fire Proof

I hope that I don’t offend anyone by this post and please let me know if I do because that is not the intent that I have. I am sorry to get so religious on everyone as well because that is not my intent that I have either. I am just writing this because of the strong feeling that I have about this particular Christian movie. I recommend everyone watching it because I believe that it will truly strengthen your marriage and your understanding of how to get a long, not only in a marriage but in a relationship that may turn into a marriage.

There is a movie Theater here in Safford that is at the Victory Fellowship Church and they were showing a great movie called Fireproof and my friend Christina and her husband Don went to see it and said that it was a very good movie about fireproofing your marriage and to look at the signs that are happening when you are having trouble in your marriage.

One of the things that really stood out to me was about how the problems started small with the husband and the wife in the movie and they really didn’t talk about it they just let it go and it kept piling up and getting worse and worse until the couple decided that the only resolution to the problems with their marriage was to get a divorce and then he goes through this book that his dad gives him and tries each of the little things that have to do with showing your significant other how much you love them even by doing just little things for them such as making a pot of coffee, or doing the dishes.

I wish that this movie would have come out long ago because I learned many great lessons from just watching the movie that I should have learned in the things that were going on with the marriage that I was in and wondering even if I would have taken the small steps and extra steps to step back and realize that the lord and church would have made TJ and I’s marriage a stronger and maybe we could have even saved it because I am not going to lie even deep down I still love the man because he was the first one that I really fell in love with and that I had those kinds of feelings for and if he called me today I would consider working our problems out even after all that he has put me through because what I have learned in the short time that I have went to church and in the bible studies that I have attended it just goes to show that there is help out there and it doesn’t even have to cost a couple money. It is as simple as finding a church and realizing the lord is there and he can help you no matter how bad things are. That divorce is not always the last answer to end all of your problems even through the little struggles that you may have.

I know that it takes two to cause problems and their were things that I should have did different in our marriage that maybe would have saved it but I have a feeling and now looking back at things that if I would have just put my foot down with TJ and said that we were going to find a church home and attend regularly maybe it would have curbed his drinking and even cured it or made him realize when you say for better and for worse it does not mean that when you have little struggles along the way to just kick your wife out and get rid of her, because that is what he did to me exactly word for word. He had no interest in working the problems out and I wish that he would have listened to me and said that there are other ways to work our problems out. Just like the movie showed even the small things matter and that even though it doesn’t seem like it your significant other pays attention to the small things.

A serious Life Update

I know that its been forever since I have blogged so here is a little update. TJ finally decided to get the divorce papers and get them together so we are hopefully soon going to be divorced and I will not have to think about the negative things that have happened in my past. Its almost like the heart ache that I have had for so long over us splitting up is gone and I am very relieved for that because no one will ever know what he put me through and what I went through in the year and five months that we were married.I know that it takes two to cause trouble in a marriage. I am not claiming to be an angel but there are things that TJ did to me that were very uncalled for and now I dont have to worry about things like that anymore. Things in my life are positive now and things are getting better and better by the day.

Like everyone has told me that next time I meet someone that I want to get serious with make sure that we know each other before I decide that I am going to get serious with them. I think that I will make better decisions though because I have learned a lot from the experience that I have had with TJ. I hate to use the word hate because its such a strong word but I can truely say that I hate this man for the things that he has done to me and I hope that someday he realizes that he had a good thing when we were married because I give up everything for him including being close to my family and friends back in Wyoming.

I was baptized the ninth of November here in Safford at the Church Of Christ and I have a great church family here that I love very much, and that is why I am being so stubborn about going home. I have never been to a church where the members were as friendly as the ones are here in Safford. It amazed me the first time that I walked into the church and the way they welcomed me into the church family after I was baptized. I have a lot of friends that I have made down here and I dont want to leave them besides the fact that I dont want to be cold again. In the two years that I have been in Arizona I have not seen snow and its been very nice not really having to be cold.

Questions that I have right now in life

I am not asking for a pity party when I write blogs like this. Its just my feelings and I hope that people understand that that read this because that is not what its intended for. The blog is for your thoughsts and feelings right? This is such a good place for me to vent and get feedback because its all positive and I am not judged on what I write.

I know that everyone is probably sick of me venting and going on and on about my marriage and how it has fallen apart and how things have went so down hill. I am over the part of us splitting up and I have tried moving on with my life but that is the hard part. I am trying to be around as many people that are friends of mine and that care about me here in Arizona but the question that I have is why does TJ get to look like the good one and that I am always the one that did the things wrong in our marriage? I know that he has a serious problem with alcohol that I could not deal with anymore. It was not just a drink every once in a while. It was a lot of alcohol all the time and I could not deal with it anymore. He was very mean because if he did not get his way he would get very angry and tell me that he was going to do things to himself. Trying to put me on a guilt trip and that was wrong of him at least I think that it was.

There was one specific night that he kept me up all night long because we had gotten into a fight because he had been drinking and consumed a lot of alcohol that he was going to kill himself and so needless to say I stayed up all night long with hism so he did not do that but now that I look back at it I should have just went to bed because TJ was never going to do something like that it was just a threat that he was going to do it. Things of this nature were a common occurance around our house especially if I didnt give TJ his way when he wanted more alcohol.

I have heard people say why do bad things happen to good people and I am starting to wonder that myself because I tried my hardest and give my marriage all that I had and look what happened. I am not saying that I was perfect because there is no one that is perfect. I just have that question of why people that give everything to someone and then they throw it away is what I am questioning.

The Great Weekend

This weekend the church that I started going to and got baptized in had a church meeting and it was three days, with three sessions on Sunday. The speaker was a preacher from Tuscon by the name of Eddie Williams and he was an outstanding speaker. He was a very modivational speaker and talked a lot about people getting along and making sure that we love one and other all the time. The meeting was very moving and very eye opening for a lot of people and really made people like me realize that you have to put Jesus number one and then our brothers and sisters number two before we put ourselves and we need to be able to take care of one another and to be able to let things go because Jesus does not want to always be fighting and arguing with each other like the people of today do.

This meeting really opened my eyes for several reasons. The one that hit home the hardest was that I need to work on being more spiritual and not having the want to hold a grudge so much. He also talked a lot about having the ability to look at people as all equal and how to deal with people that think they are better than everyone else and that we need to realize that we need to be able to look at ourselves and realize are we really church members or deciples and church members are the ones that just go on Sunday and really dont do anything else during the week and Deciples are people that actually go to church and go to Bible Study and study out of their Bible more than just on Sunday, which made me really look at myself and made me think of the ways that I need to be a stronger Christian and be able to go to Jesus in prayer. The last month has been a real eye opener for me because I really thought about a lot of stuff last night and decided that I need to actually open it more than I do. More than just a couple times a week. So I have given myself a challenge and hopefully I can stick with the challenge that I have set forth for myself.